You learn to love from people who know how to love and you learn it not by copying what they say or what they do, but by learning to experience it directly. Because? Because feelings are not gestures and/or words, but their meanings otherwise they are empty and false. In fact, it is not these that generate emotions, but the feelings that animate them and give meaning.
Example. If I give a chocolate to Gwendolyn who is on my mind because that way I appease her and tomorrow she offers me coffee, it's not a good, sincere gesture, which certainly won't generate positive emotions or at least not in the medium-long term because it's not sincere, it's not authentic.
If, on the other hand, I give my grandmother flowers when I go to visit her because I'm glad she can look at them in the centerpiece and cheer up a little when I'm not there, then it's a gesture of affection.
How do you experience these feelings?
By building the tools that allow us to do it, that is by associating with people who have them and know how to pass them on in turn and teach them.
What it takes?
I would say a whole childhood and adolescence and even beyond.
Who couldn't have it is screwed?
No, going to a psychologist-psychotherapist who deals with this can give you these tools in a reasonable time.
How much?
It depends on the basis that the person and technique of the psychotherapist has. If he doesn't have any tools it could take longer, but it's always an investment that a person makes in himself.
What does he get in return?
Glasses with which to recognize feelings (good and bad) in oneself and in others and not always see rottenness or bad intentions, knowing how to recognize good people from bad ones, being light and satisfied, being able to be loved in turn and that is to generate good feelings in oneself and so in others through the right tools.
This is why my slogan has always been:
“The best investment you can make is in yourself”.