The phenomenon of bullying seems to take ever new and widespread forms.
More and more often even when someone does something good, big or small, then there are others who have to complain, get dirty, in short, do they always find the negative side?
For instance:
“He does it to be seen!”
Or the thing going around right now:
"It's false!"
Until some time ago, I heard it more widely referred above all to those who practiced normal politeness and politeness, but fortunately now, thanks to the example of good people and also the information campaigns, the situation seems to me to be returning at least for regarding its actual reading and meaning.
Bah, my job is to observe and try to give real meanings (not subjective truths) to social transformations and people's feelings and for this reason ideas come to me on time, not necessarily from the office or even in traditional workplaces. So a joke I heard on TV in a penguin documentary came to my mind and it made me think about how to socialize, perhaps better, the phenomenon of bullying. Why do it? Because we can all be a victim of it and probably, in different forms and intensities, we already are and maybe we are even unwitting accomplices. But I don't propose to fight against bullying, but simply to recognize it so as not to become unaware participants and let us be manipulated into feeling angry and negative without knowing why.
Who is a bully? A person who pursues the evil of others because he thinks, does and feels through the lens of evil. The problem then is that today they seem to multiply like the Gremlins, after all, they gather in packs just like them.
But why does the bully do this?
Let's get help from the penguins to see why.
“It defends its nest from thieves, because every thief expects to be robbed” (quote from the penguin documentary)
I started replacing “thief” with: backbiter, traitor, fake, bad… Then with: kind, trustworthy, authentic, good…
Here is the difference between a bully and a non-bully person:
BULLY … every bad guy expects others to be bad…
DO NOT BULLY ... every good person expects others to be good ...
BULLA … every fake expects the others to be fake…
DO NOT BULLY ... every authentic expects the others to be authentic ...
And then the actions follow:
BULLA if the others are bad then you have to defend and beat harder, the regulating principle is "action-reaction"
DO NOT BULLY if others are good then I can trust them, the regulating principle is "acceptance and serenity"
And so the feelings experienced are:
BULLY if others are mean will have fear and anger more or less recognized
DON'T BULLY if others are good she will be calmer, lighter, happier
Here are some practical tools to recognize bullies and not let them manipulate us.
If anyone has perplexities, doubts, outbursts and anger, as always, send me an email or give me a call, always without problems and we can talk about it openly.
If you want to learn more, I have also written two articles on bullying for the APBPS Psychologists and Pedagogists association. I'll give you the links::